The very funny comedian Jim Gaffigan says that if you want
to know what it is like to have a fourth child, imagine you are drowning…and
then someone hands you a baby. Since there are currently only three children
here in this house, that means that we are in the drowning stage. Sounds about
right. Having this third kid has been an incredible challenge. And not because
any of the three of them have been particularly troublesome. Taken
individually, Jenna, Bo, and Emily are all really good kids. Sure they have
their challenging quirks, whether it is Emmy’s refusal to take a nap, Bo’s
schizophrenia, or Jenna’s inability to eat even the smallest of snacks in less
than 90 minutes. But by themselves none of those things are such a big deal.
However, putting them together is like assembling some sort of Voltronic
superchallenge that can’t be defeated. Alixa is a trooper and seems to be
handling the challenge much better than Jarom, to the point that she is still
convinced that she would like to have someone hand her that baby while she is
drowning. Jarom feels irritable and exhausted and at his wits end 24 hours a
day now and can’t imagine a scenario where he would willingly add one more
kiddo to the mix. In fact he has such a short fuse these days that he nearly
killed his little sister in front of the rest of his family (more on that
later.)
So when things are crazy and hectic at home with 3 kids
under 5, what should you do? If you said put everybody into a car and drive for
26 hours to stay a week in a house that contains 2 dozen other small children,
you are insane. That is what the Winns did, and they are insane. So on the
afternoon of August 9th Jarom and Alixa packed up the minivan, which
had been purchased at least partly in preparation for this very trip, and
headed east. The trip was split into three legs. Jarom and Alixa alternated
driving. Jarom went first. The kids were pretty good and the van was a great
set up. It had plenty of space and allowed Lix to sit in one of the captain’s
chairs in the back with the little ones. They watched movies and played games
on the iPad and took naps and asked if we were there yet. Jarom’s shift didn’t
end until about 7:30 am on Saturday morning when they had just passed
Knoxville. It was a long, lonely night trying not to fall asleep, and he did
have to make a couple of pit stops just to get out and do a few wind sprints,
but he stayed on the road and nobody died. They grabbed a quick breakfast at
Cracker Barrel and then Lix took her turn while Jarom tended the kids, but
mostly took a nap. At about 10 am Alixa informed Jarom that she was getting a
little bit sleepy and asked if he could take over the driver seat once again.
So the third leg began and went for another 9 hours or so, finally ending up in
a torrential downpour while sitting on the highway 12 parking lot that led to
their beach house.
The week was spent doing things that you might imagine:
swimming in the pool, swimming in the ocean, building sand castles, burying
people in the sand, playing football in the sand, chasing crabs in the sand,
taking pictures in the sand, trying to stand up paddleboard on the stormiest
day when the ocean was particularly choppy, playing a round of golf, chasing
sand pipers into the surf, getting knocked over by the surf, crying because you
got sand in your mouth, flying kites on the windy days, watching movies with
cousins, trying to do a live draft with a dozen people for our fantasy football
league, sitting in more traffic on highway 12, and trying to get all that sand
out of everyone’s clothes. It was good fun. Arguably the best fun happened one
evening as the family was preparing to play a board game. Depending on whom you
ask you will get different versions of this story. You may check this version
for accuracy with pretty much any Winn family member, as they were basically
all there. It began with Nate throwing a wet paper towel at Alixa’s face (Nate
usually omits that part when he tells this). A few minutes later Jarom tossed
that same wet paper towel at Jamie to indicate to her that she can be done
playing the cups now. From there it escalated rapidly. First Jamie retaliated
with plastic cups that she had been using as musical instruments, but that wasn’t
enough so she then threw a plastic water bottle that still had most of the
water in it. Upon hitting Jarom’s face the top came off, soaking Alixa and
Loni, who were sitting next to him. This upset Jarom and he got up and went
around to the other side of the table to pour water on Jamie. I’ve heard this story
a few times and while the adjectives change, most of them focus on Jarom’s “crazy
eyes”, which must have scared Jamie because she tried to scamper away over the
top of the table and ended up getting stuck in the chandelier. Jarom poured
some water on Jamie, Nancy screamed at Jarom to stop it, Jamie commented that
Jarom was going to end her life, and a general awkward silence ensued. The
water was cleaned up, apologies were made, and at least as far as I am aware,
everyone is okay now. It was the kind of incident that should probably have
been saved for Thanksgiving, but the Winns aren’t usually together for that
holiday.
At the end of the week the crew reluctantly crammed back
into the van and took off for Richmond. They spent a day there visiting old
friends and enjoying a leisurely drive down John Rolfe Parkway and by their old
house, where they could still see the trash can that they left behind. It was
at this point that Emmy started to really get sick and have great trouble
breathing, which led to great trouble sleeping, which meant no sleep for Alixa
and bad sleep for Jarom. Not ideal when you’ve got two long days on the road
ahead of you. The one positive about the sleepless nights was that Emily did a
great job of sleeping in the car while driving. They stopped for the night in Memphis
on the way back and could not have been happier to pull into the driveway late
Sunday afternoon. Jarom took the kids on a long walk to stretch their legs and
tire them out a little bit and everyone was excited to be sleeping in their own
beds again. Sadly, the illnesses that Emmy and then Alixa caught on the trip
didn’t end when we got back to Texas. Lix has been a wandering zombie all week
long as she tries to deal with the three kids while Jarom goes to work and even
had a few days watching Kenna and Cali. She still isn’t over it.
And now everyone is getting ready to go back to school. We
still have a year before Jenna leaves for official school, but Lix is already
turning into a hot mess anytime she thinks about it. She’ll be doing a co-op
preschool again this year which should be fun. Emily is rolling over every time
you leave her alone, and is starting to look like she has interest in crawling,
which doesn’t thrill Jarom. Bo is hilarious all the time, even when he is
driving you crazy. Jarom finished up playing summer league lacrosse and had a
great time. He and Alixa also finished up their rec league softball season,
which was fun even though the team wasn’t a rousing success. Lix continues to
drop pounds at an astounding rate, while Jarom holds steady at about 207. The
real amazing story in the weight department goes to Emmy, who has moved from
the 4th percentile at birth up to the 90th at 4 months.
Take that, growth chart! Hopefully she’ll start to level off soon, although she
is pretty cute for a fat kid.
