Squirrels in the Attic

Some of you may have noticed that it is cold outside these days. As it happens, people are not the only species to seek shelter from such frigidity. During the past few weeks there has been a persistent scratching sound that has been my constant companion. It did not take long before it morphed from a curiosity to an annoyance. Apartment management was notified, and four weeks later, prompt action was taken. A flurry of mothballs was thrown up there in an effort to scare the intrusive rodents away. The following day the maintenance crew came to seal up the hole that had allowed entrance into the attic. Jarom arrived home to find men on the roof, who asked him if he had heard any movement the night before. He had, but they decided to close it up anyway. There is now a squirrel trapped in the attic, and the scratching will probably crescendo until one day when it simply stops. Any guesses as to how long the squirrel’s acorn cache will last?

Also from the animal front, the circus came to Knoxville and Jarom and Lix went to see it. It was the smaller, one-ring version of RB&B&B, but still entertaining. There were elephants, white tigers, motorcycles in a giant spherical cage, and trained wiener dogs. Alixa could hardly believe that in all of his deprived childhood he had never gone to a circus. What awful parents he must have had!



Alixa continues to expand, and is now unable to wear any of her old shirts to work at the Olive Garden. She decided that she would do some tailoring, using fabric from two shirts to create one super sized garment. Her original plan was to cut up the middle of the back and sew in a new panel. Jarom saved the day by suggesting that two triangles be sewn in on each side, along the current seams. It has worked out great, and she says that she is more comfortable than ever.



Alixa’s birthday is almost here, and this week she got a set of Tupperware that she has been wanting for some time now. The lids all snap together so they won’t get lost, at least in theory. We’ll see if that holds true.



I stumbled across a wonderful nugget of hilarity this week, courtesy of my good friend over at Monkey!Llama!Fight! It is a blog written by a bench warmer on Ohio State’s basketball team, and I recommend reading from the start. It has only been up since October, so you aren’t too far behind.

I know it's hard to tell (our seats weren't that great), but those are little dogs jumping over obstacles while their friends wait patiently on the top hats.  Stinkin' hilarious.

I will leave you with my bold Superbowl prediction: Cardinals 24-Steelers 17.

There has been quite an uproar for side shots of Alixa with her belly poking out.  She has been reluctant thus far, but I promise my next post will include one.  Have patience, faithful readers.

It's a girl!

Profile shot of Jenna

Many of you already know this, but the Winns are happy to announce that they will be having a baby girl this June.  This should not have come as a surprise to anyone, as this will be granddaughter number 7 for Grandma and Grandpa Winn, compared to 0 grandsons.  Alixa was certain that she would be having a boy and thus had not thought about any girl names.  For right now we are floating around Marley, Jenna, and Mandy.  Suggestions are always welcome, as is criticism.  The pictures are obviously from the ultrasound.  I tried to put the video up, but it is too big and the uploading was a problem.  I apologize for the fact that the kid looks like some sort of gelatinized alien, but this is the best that our technology can muster.

Marley, holding her right hand up to her right eye

Since none of you can tell what on earth this is: You are looking at her crotch from below her.  On either side of the arrow are her legs, with her knees to the right.

In this one Mandy Jo seems to be doing her best Heath Ledger impression

Hoping for Change?

What a week for America. Monday was Martin Luther King Day, and Alixa didn’t have to go to work. The Winns decided to celebrate the way that Martin would want them to, by seeing a movie. They had to brave the first real snowfall of our Tennessee experience in order to do it, but had heard mediocre to good things about Twilight and figured this would be one of their few chances to catch a slightly lower priced matinee. Boo to anyone who told them that the movie was OK or better. They could not have been more disappointed in it. The acting was shoddy, special effects were pedestrian at best, and every scene with Bella and Edward simply made them seem mentally retarded because they talked so slowly and sporadically. The only actor that really did well was the girl who played Jessica. Her performance was excellent; the rest of the movie was a disaster. As an added bonus, Jarom was lucky enough to sit near two high school aged girls who were wearing about 10 times as much perfume as they should have. It gave him flashbacks to his own high school experience, when friends of his would go through the painful learning process of how much artificial scent is appropriate.

Why are they all so grumpy?

On Tuesday our new President was sworn in, albeit incorrectly. Alixa was very proud of herself for listening to the inauguration and was anxious to speak with someone else who had seen it so they could discuss some things. Unfortunately, Jarom had class and missed it, and her mother would not be caught dead listening to a Democrat take the presidential oath. Finally she was able to talk to her dad about it. She liked the speech, with one exception: she didn’t like that Obama said that “our schools fail too many.” She thinks that children who are failing need to turn in their homework and study for tests, and that the President should not be ordering teachers to artificially inflate their grades.

Presidential Oath, take 2

We also got some new furniture this week, thanks to a fellow ward member who was doing some remodeling. A dresser for Jarom, and a TV stand to put the old TV on in the bedroom. We love free stuff. As for stuff that isn’t free, Alixa has been searching for a gym where she can do cardio and stuff that isn’t below freezing. Jarom went with her to check out a few gyms that were running New Year promotions, but they were all actually terrible deals, like this one – Buy a 3 year contract at $60 a month, and get your fourth year free!! Score. Eventually they found a little gym about two blocks from their house that had a reasonable monthly fee, no contract, and had 24-hour access. It is small, so there are no group classes or pools or racquetball, but they have weights and cardio equipment, and a big fluffy white dog that hangs out at the gym as a mascot. Alixa is excited to be able to stop by on her way home from work and walk on a treadmill at room temperature. Maybe she will be able to get rid of that unsightly gut that she is developing.

Jarom tried UT intramurals this week, playing his first game on a Coed basketball team. Playing with girls wasn’t as bad as he imagined, but his team is not very good. There are a few good players, but none of them had ever played together and they ran into a pretty good team. The mercy rule is that the game ends if a team is up by 40 points at any time. The game ended with about 9 minutes to go. Ouch.

Sciatica

From weather.com - Arctic cold will grip the Northeast Friday with temperatures 15 to 30 degrees below average. Morning lows will range from -30 in Caribou, Maine to near 20 in Norfolk, Virginia. Afternoon highs will remain below zero in northern Maine and struggling into the 20s from a New York City to Roanoke line southward.

Here in Knoxville the temperature climbed as high as 24° on Thursday with a projected wind chill of -4° on Friday. This is my first real experience with the east coast’s version of cold. With the humidity and some wind, it is the very definition of bone chilling. Jarom opted to take Alixa to work in the morning so he could drive the car to school instead of going numb on his bike. The first few weeks of school are out of the way, and he is pretty sure he will enjoy his classes again this semester. One of his classes is Expert Performance in Sports, which is basically our retirement plan. He is going to learn all of the techniques that will turn his offspring into hugely successful pro athletes. It’s foolproof.

It's so cold, our neighbor's Beamer even needed a blanket

The cold has also prompted Jarom to continue his as-yet unsuccessful job search outside of the Knoxville city limits. This week he found a job that requires him to snorkel, lay on a beach, go hiking, sailing, and swimming. It also pays $100,000 for six months of “work”. He would have to keep up a regular blog, but I could help him with that. The Australian Tourism Industry is offering the job, and if you are interested you can learn more at www.islandreefjob.com. But don’t apply, because the last thing Jarom needs is more competition for employment.

I wonder if Alixa will let me come with them to Australia?

In Alixa’s life, pregnancy threw her a new curve ball this week. On Tuesday her leg started to sort of go numb and feel weird. It persisted, so she called her doctor, who told her that the kid is probably pushing on her sciatic nerve, which is the major nerve that enervates the leg. It isn’t terribly uncommon. In fact, FetusJarom did it to his mom for so long that he caused permanent damage, and Nancy still gripes to him about how she always feels like someone just gave her a shot of Novocain. Hopefully FetusJaromJunior will get off it soon enough, and Alixa can go back to walking normally.

Jarom posed for the picture on the left

Other than work continuing and school starting back up, the Winns are looking forward to their next vacation, a trip to South Carolina to hang out with some family for a week. We have also spent some quality time together watching the new season of American Idol. Jarom only really likes the first few weeks, when he can see the nutcases and crazy people. None of us are pleased with the new judge, Kara DioGuardi. As far as we can tell, she has yet to contribute anything to the show, other than making an even number of judges and muddying disputes.

The End of an Era

Congratulations to the Florida Gators! Representing our now home conference, the SEC, the Gators beat the Oklahoma Sooners yesterday in a wonderfully thrilling BCMess Championship Game. It was nice to have a competitive final game to end the college football season, something that hasn’t happened in a while. However, the bowl season is always a letdown for me because I know that it could be so much better. Wouldn’t it be great to have a 16-team tournament throughout the month of December, culminating with an actual championship game on January 1? Then we wouldn’t have 48 people voting Florida #1, 16 voting for Utah, and 1 voting for USC. We would get to see if Utah could keep up their winning streak, maybe get a Texas-Oklahoma rematch, and nobody would get hosed because they didn’t have enough name recognition. It won’t happen because of greedy college presidents and their lame reasons lies like “preserving tradition” and “keeping academics first.” They are all very bad men. I will resume this gripe one year from today.



Jarom got his new calling this week….Elder’s Quorum Secretary. He was thrilled, because he was thinking it would be something much more time consuming. This should actually be quite easy. And Alixa is very happy with her new primary teaching partner. She is a mother of five, so knows how to deal with the little rats well. Alixa is learning a lot from her.

Jarom is also trying to find a job. Last semester he realized that grad school isn’t that hard, so he should contribute something to the family account, even if it is only part time. He has a few leads and interviews set up. It isn’t anything exciting, but we are poor, so he needs to do something. In the meantime, he took advantage of some sunny weather today to play a round of golf. It took him a few holes to remember how to hit the ball, but he enjoyed himself immensely.



Since school ended in early December, he has filled his free time with a fair amount of reading. He has chosen a variety of genres, from Teen Vampire Romance Novels (he read all four Twilight books in about 2 weeks) to Business (Panic by Michael Lewis) to Psychology (Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl) to Fantasy (The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins, and this month's Book Club selection) to Self-Help (Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell). All were good and all are recommended, although most people won’t enjoy all of them. Mr. Frankl’s book is especially interesting, with some very powerful commentary on the human spirit and agency, set against the backdrop of a WWII concentration camp.



Alixa’s exciting development this week was the continuation of her birthday, which began in November and will probably run until mid-March. She got a new digital camera from her favoritest parents-in-law. It is 10 megapixels, which is oh so much nicer than our old, 4 megapixeler. It is also Charger powder blue, which pleases both Jarom and Lix. Unfortunately, there may not be many presents on her actual bday, February 2, when she will turn very old.

Happy New Year!

The Winns had a wonderful end to 2008, traveling to Delaware to spend nearly two weeks with Jarom’s extended family. All of his siblings were in town for Christmas and a baby blessing and the wedding of Jolene and Rob. 6 down, 1 to go. I’m pulling for you Kristi! They spent their days lounging around the house, playing games, seeing movies, having family meetings, and eating. Oh, the eating. The house was populated with 4 pregnant women, Nate and Jesse. It’s a good thing that Nancy’s pantry holds enough food for a zoo. Jarom also came to realize the wisdom in the Lord’s plan of marriage before having kids. If a boy doesn’t really love a girl, and have a legally binding contract to remain with that person, the craziness that pregnancy brings would surely drive him away. It seems as though each week Alixa demonstrates a new symptom of pregnancy that brings joy to his life.

Jarom and the former Jolene Winn

Jarom and the former Alixa Hegewald

But he can put up with the crazy because it never ceases to amuse him. This was especially evident in Delaware with other pregos around. Alixa has grown quite proud of the fact that she has still not vomited as a result of her morning sickness. She credits her amazing psychological strength for this accomplishment. Unfortunately, some of the other women in the Winn clan are of a weaker mind, and have given in to the urge to purge, as it were. This led to some wonderful confrontations between the womenfolk, arguing about who is the sickest and/or most mentally feeble.

Psychologically speaking, the strongest woman I know

Christmas brought baby blankets and overalls and books. I also got a present from Bruce and Nancy – I am going to be published! They offered to pay for a book version of my writings for the year to use as the beginning of a family history. I am very excited for that. Sadly, as all vacations do, this one ended and Jarom and Lix had to come back home to take care of me and return to work and school.

Chewie and Adri, and the door that will lead to his freedom

This week, Alixa went in and got approved for WIC, which is a government program that buys food for poor people who are pregnant or have just had a baby. We fit that demographic, and were able to go to Walmart and get milk, eggs, cereal, juice, cheese, and peanut butter for free! Alixa doesn’t feel bad because she plans to pay the government back over the next 50 years.

We also got our first unplanned missionary visit this week. Jarom and Lix were watching TV when the doorbell rang, which never happens. They opened it up and listened to the missionary’s introduction, trying not to laugh. They invited them in, listened to a spiritual thought, and gave them some peanut M&Ms for the road. It was fun.



The 42” plasma that has been sitting in the living room for the past month has finally been set up. Turns out that the mounting system needed metric screws. Stupid inches. But it is great, and I am glad that Jarom did it in time for the end of the bowl season and the start of the NFL playoffs.

Bruce, modeling the sweatshirt that he got for winning the fantasy football league this year

Last year Jarom set a goal to lose 5 pounds, from 195 to 190. Instead he gained 5 pounds. So he is giving up on resolutions entirely. Hopefully you all have better luck/success with your goals this year.