Saturday, May 2, 2009

Crossing the Line

The big news from Knoxville this week arrived on Sunday via our Stake President. As per Winn tradition, much to Alixa’s eternal shame and irritation, Jarom arrived at church with his robust bride a few minutes late. As they entered the chapel, they heard the bishop dismissing the congregation to go to Sunday school. This caused some confusion on Jarom’s part, as he wondered just how long it had taken him to brush his teeth that morning. But they were soon informed that the meetings were going to be reversed and a special combined sacrament meeting would be held with the other unit that meets in the building. Jarom neither knew nor particularly cared why this was happening, but the gossip of new ward boundaries traveled faster that VD through the Rock of Love Bus. It was all anyone could whisper about during the lessons that day, and surfaced repeatedly in the form of comments about following church leaders. After classes ended, Lix and Jarom made their way to the chapel, where they were forced to sit for about 30 minutes until the official start time of the Knoxville Branch. Finally, President Morgenegg (name has not been changed, because it’s funny) stood at the podium and began naming streets and avenues and highways that would mark the new boundaries of the West Hills, Knoxville First, and Pellissippi wards. Jarom didn’t hear any streets that he recognized, so he assumed (incorrectly, as he would learn later) that he was unaffected by the changes. After outlining the changes and stressing the importance of attending your assigned church unit, the President had the honor of opening up the testimony meeting. His remarks, not surprisingly, were focused on the changing wards. The general theme was summed up in a phrase he repeated multiple times: “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this, but…” He would then proceed to make a big deal out of it, by comparing the present experience (attending the same chapel at a different time, or possibly a different chapel altogether) with such historical events as the saints being forced out of Kirtland and Nauvoo (events highlighted by murders, beatings, theft, vandalism, illegal jailings, destruction of property, etc…) This went on for over 20 minutes. If any of you have watched the movies Australia or Lord of the Rings Part III you will be familiar with the sensation that what you are watching is about to end, only to have a whole new chapter unexpectedly start up…again and again. But he did finish, and was followed by other overdramatic testimonies, talking about the historic nature of the day, and even mentioning how we had been specially prepared in the preexistence to be in this chapel on this day. I must say, Mormons are crazy!

It seemed like Frodo saved Middle Earth in less time than last week's church meetings took

As I mentioned, no boundaries were changed around the Winn apartment, but it turns out that we have been attending the wrong ward since our arrival last August. Our actual ward meets in the stake center, which adds about 15 minutes to their commute. Since we will be leaving for the summer, and then only be back for a few months before leaving for ________, the tentative plan is to hope that this all blows over by the time we get back. Meeting new people at church has never been Jarom or Alixa’s strong suit, so if they can avoid doing it they will.

Only 50 more days of parking here at the Walmart

The NBA playoffs have been going on, and will continue until about September. I have very much enjoyed them so far. All of my favorite players are on display, from Kobe dicing up the hapless Utah Jazz to D-Wade carrying the Heat against the Hawks. Kobe is my favorite because he is the only NBA star to use a snake as his nickname, and I like Wade because he pays tithing. The best series, without a doubt, has been the Bulls-Celtics, which goes to game 7 this weekend. Four of the six games have gone to overtime, including a triple OT thriller game 6. What really makes me happy is the struggle of Boston, because I hate them. Mostly I hate Paul Pierce, with his terrible looking facial hair and whiny disposition, which has carried over to the rest of the team. I am hoping for a Bull's win in game 7, and maybe even another Joakim Noah throwdown on Pierce’s noggin.

Only one more week in Tennessee. Alixa has fiver more days of work, and Jarom wraps up his finals on Tuesday, and then it is off to the greener pastures and less-humble surroundings of Bruce and Nancy’s in Delaware.


me said...

kobe? really? that is just awful. while i certainly can admit he is an insanely talented player, there is probably nothing that could make me happier than to see him fail spectacularly. he makes me want to punch babies.

and joakim noah looks like a tranny. if he didn't have a mustache, he'd be playing in the wnba. actually, nevermind. i'm pretty sure the mustache is fine for that.

Four Winns said...

We can't wait until you get here! So is Jenna the official name now or is there still some wiggle room?