Best....Christmas.....Present.....EVER!

Happy belated Thanksgiving to everyone! Jarom and Lix took Jenna on a long car ride to Delaware where they found a house full of 35 people for a few days. It was a great time. But before they left on vacation they took advantage of their friends’ kindness and sent Jenna off to be babysat while they went to the last home football game of UT’s season. Once again, Jarom was able to get some tickets from his football players on the 50-yard line, and once again the Vols delivered a good win. They stayed through a little of the fourth quarter, and at that point decided that 4 hours was probably enough of an imposition on their free babysitting service. But Jenna behaved herself, which is always nice news to get.

Also prior to leaving, Jarom gave Alixa her Christmas present, because he is really bad at reading calendars and because Lix loves getting things. I must offer a disclaimer stating that Jarom is not particularly proud of the present that he purchased, but it was the thing that Lix wanted more than anything else in the world, so he got it for her. One day after picking her up from work, he asked her to go grab him something from the living room, where the gift was sitting on a chair. It took her a few seconds to notice it, after which she reacted much like the kid in this video-



The gift in question is a leopard print snuggie, and Alixa has worn it every single day since she opened it up. She even has several design improvements, including pockets for hands, pockets for feet, and a tie so that you can walk around in it without getting a “butt-draft.” Maybe Jarom can turn those ideas into a job, since he is struggling to find anything else.

Jenna is still trying to grow into it

On Monday afternoon Lix and Jenna went with Jarom to studyhall where they met some of the football players and dropped of some cookies, and then the crew left Knoxville and drove 10 hours up to Delaware. All of Jarom’s siblings had come home, and there were also 5 cousins, some with families. So the house was crowded and full of babies. Sleeping in was pretty much impossible, as was going to bed early. Basketball and football were played, and three TVs were equipped with Xboxes for large-scale Halo games that went on until the wee hours of the morning. Huge quantities of food were consumed, especially on Thanksgiving, when about 7 more people joined us. Lix got to go see The Blind Side, her favorite story in the world, and loved it. She also got a haircut from Kristi and is quite pleased with the results. On Black Friday she got up to feed Jenna at 4:30 and then went to Walmart to get a Tomtom GPS for $60. It got some use on the way home and she loves it. Lix is very excited about not getting lost all the time when Jarom gets a job and they have to move to a new city. There was also a sale at Carters, where Alixa got about $9,000 worth of merchandise for about $50 (dollar amounts are approximations.) But mostly they enjoyed the company of so many funny family members.

Just a couple of cute pictures of the Winn ladies

Jenna spent the better part of her vacation in Grandma’s jump-jump, which is a little bit springier than her own. Every morning Jarom would take her downstairs and put her in it while he ate breakfast, and she would jump happily for an hour or more. Which brings me to Jenna’s latest animal impression, the springbok, a type of African gazelle. Enjoy the two videos that follow, and see if you can tell which one is Jenna (it works best if you watch them simultaneously)-





Alas, as all vacations do, this one ended. So on Saturday Jarom and Alixa left Delaware. Only this time they didn’t pack Jenna. She gets to stay with Grandma for 10 long days, while Lix works a few final shifts at the Olive Garden and Jarom finishes up all of his schoolwork so that he can get his final degree. They are both very sad to have left her, but confident that she will have a wonderful time and be very spoiled by Nancy. It will be nothing but warm bottles and licking sugary things and shopping trips for cute new baby clothes I am sure. Word on the street is that she doesn’t even miss her parents yet and has been very pleasant. We shall see how long that lasts.

Today was the Winn’s last Sunday in their new ward, the one that they were sent to a few months ago. After sacrament meeting one of the counselors came up and asked if he could speak with them for just a moment. They looked at each other and smiled because they knew what was coming. The three of them sit down in the room and after some brief chit chat the counselor asks them how long they are going to be in the ward. They informed him that they will no longer be there, and they apologized for not being able to take the callings. They are looking forward to being done with this phase of life, where they are constantly moving from apartment to apartment, never staying anywhere for more than a year or two. There are some job possibilities on the horizon, so we will see what happens. I will be sure to let you all know as soon as I do.

During and after pics of the trim

Dictator?, I don't even know her!

It is November 16, and it was over 70 degrees and sunny in Knoxville today. This is definitely the time of year that the Winns will miss when we leave in the increasingly less distant future. Presently Jarom and I are keeping each other company while Jenna and Lix visit the Hegewalds on the shores of Lake Erie. Word on the street is that they are having a good time. Alixa has been golfing more in the past week than Jarom has, something that has never happened before. Jenna is getting to know her grandparents, and they enjoy playing with her while Lix golfs with Opa or plays tennis and canasta with Mimi.

Lix and Jenna in front of the fence Jarom climbed over to briefly rescue a kitten

Jenna with a bow in her hair (no glue needed)

This weekend was also the second installment of the Jarom vs. Alixa fantasy football feud. Jarom took game one in the first week of the season, but Lix came into this week’s matchup as a 63-point favorite. That is a spread that any fool would love to take, but since I am not a betting man, I refrained. And it was a good thing too, because not only did Alixa win, but she also covered the spread handily, outscoring her emasculated husband 158-82. Jarom might have to rethink his decision to allow his wife into the league if she keeps beating the tar out of him, because it really isn’t good for his fragile ego.



Before she took off last week, Lix decided to try feeding Jenna some rice cereal, a trick she had been looking forward to for some time. It was an unmitigated disaster. It was messy, of course. That is to be expected. But it was so much worse than that. First I must explain something to you about Jenna – when it comes to her food, she does not mess around. Her hunger typically arises fairly quickly, meaning that she can go from happy to extremely upset in about 5 minutes. You should really use that time wisely to make her a bottle, because if you don’t she will explode into an angry rage. Well, it was feeding time on Thursday when Lix made her the rice cereal. She seemed to enjoy chewing on the spoon, but she wasn’t really getting any food as it was mostly falling all over her and the table around her. Since she was still hungry and the 5-minute window had passed, she began to scream at the top of her lungs inconsolably. The real problem is that when this happens she is unable to calm herself down enough to eat once you do get the bottle ready. So Jarom and Alixa had to spend about 30 minutes with a Jenna siren going off until she finally ran out of gas. Needless to say, the next rice cereal session will be done in between feedings when she is not hungry at all.

Sometimes Jenna gets tired of holding her head up and just lays down. Unfortunately, sometimes there is barfus where she lays her head. She doesn't care.

Another funny story from last week involves Jarom and a fellow student from his ethics class who we will call Hubbs. This class is mostly a big fat waste of time, spent debating ethical dilemmas with the other students. In class environments that center on debating issues Jarom can sometimes become a dominant figure in the discussions. Perhaps other people get their feelings hurt when he points out the glaring flaws in their arguments, or maybe they are just jealous of his stunning good looks, but there have been flashes of hostility from fellow students in the past. However, what occurred a few weeks ago was unprecedented. Amid a discussion about whether it is acceptable for a beer company to sponsor a high school Jarom stated his view that such a scenario seemed inappropriate, particularly given the constant issue of drunk driving and teenage deaths. At the end of his little diatribe, Jarom paused, and then finished. At the pause a friend of Hubbs began to squeeze in his two cents, only to be cut off by the end of Jarom’s thought. Immediately Hubbs said, in a voice that was loud enough for the whole class to hear, “Hold on, the dictator is speaking, nobody else is allowed to say anything.” Well, dictator is hardly the worst thing that Jarom has been called, and he isn’t new to being called out in public either, so he simply laughed it off. One week later, he got an interesting email from Hubbs-

Dear Class,

I just wanted to apologize to the class for my outburst during last week’s class. I said some things that may have offended some of you and there was no excuse for that. I let my emotions get the best of me and I promise that I will not let it happen again.

Thanks for your understanding

He isn’t sure if it was self-motivated or if the teacher had a hand in suggesting the apology. Any thoughts? And feel free to call Jarom dirty names if it will make you feel better.

This video is the greatest taunt/celebration I have ever seen. Lix should have used it after her epic win.

How to save a life, Part II

In an effort to become card-carrying members of PETA, the world’s most reasonable institution, Jarom and Alixa have decided to ease the pain and suffering of small mammals everywhere. Last week those efforts were focused on the unfortunate plight of SquirrelBob, who was saved from the angry claws of Caspian. This week it was a more conventional animal rescue. Thursday morning Alixa had to get up bright and early to go to a doctor’s appointment, where she was the not-so-happy recipient of three, count them THREE, shots, including one for tetanus. This is not really pertinent to the story at hand, but she has been whining about the pain in her arm for the past few days and I thought you should all know what a big sissy she is. More on her sissyness to come. Anyway, after her appointment she went to work, leaving Jarom to tend Jenna during the day. Since Knoxville’s beautiful November weather has arrived, it was about 65 degrees and sunny, so those two left for a leisurely afternoon stroll. There is a wonderful walking path that goes from our apartment to a pretty park about 2 miles away. This path goes behind the local Walmart/Sams Club complex, which is where Jarom heard some meowing as he walked by. Some investigation led to the discovery of a kitten on the other side of a fence, which seemed to be stranded. With Jenna, there wasn’t anything he could do, so he went back home and waited for Alixa to return.

A few hours later, as light was beginning to fade, the Winn clan got in the car to attempt the rescue. It began with Jarom scaling an six-foot high chain link fence that was severely overgrown with vines and weeds, was not particularly stable, and had sharp prongs on the top. Summoning all of his abilities from his past life as an Olympic gymnast, Jarom was able to get up and over the fence without incurring any significant injuries to himself or his clothes. He next had to tromp through some dense underbrush for about 30 feet to get to the kitty, which promptly ran away from him and hid beneath some rocks in a little cave. The next 20 minutes consisted of Jarom and the kitty meowing back and forth while he twisted his arm into the cave and tried to get the neck scruff to be able to pull the little guy out. He did eventually succeed, and found a very cute, surprisingly healthy looking cat. Leery of passing the kitten over the fence to Alixa, Jarom tried to find a path back to the jogging trail that went around the fence. No such luck. So the kitten was handed over and Jarom began scaling the fence again. Unfortunately, before Jarom had even reached the top of the fence, he heard Lix began to yelp “Oh no, oh no, oh no!” After working for about 45 minutes to rescue the kitten, it took Alixa approximately 5 seconds to lose him again. This time he ran into the bushes off the path, and with no cave to keep him from running, there was no way that Jarom could get him back. The only consolation is that Jarom is pretty sure that he saw a momma cat as he was leaving, which would explain why the kitten seemed to be so healthy. So perhaps it is for the best that he gets to stay with his mom. Alixa’s defense for her inability to hold the animal? She was worried that the kitten’s razor sharp claws might slice through her jacket and get to her arms. She has been apologizing to Jarom ever since. Hopefully the little guy is okay, and I guess the Winn’s will just have to wait a little longer before they get their first kitty.

Also this week Jarom took his comprehensive exam, which is a test that all grad students have to take before finishing. He had to answer several essay questions from 3 teachers that he has had over the past 18 months. We don’t really know what happens if he fails it, but he’s heard nothing from any professors yet, and in this case no news is good news.

Alixa’s big news this week is her complete 180 on her stance regarding feeding sugar to her baby. On Friday they ate at the Olive Garden, and Lix tried dipping Jenna’s pacifier in Diet Coke, and then regular Coke (Jenna’s not a big fan of the diet.) Today Jarom found a Special K bar wrapper next to Jenna’s play mat. Lix told him that she had been playing with the wrapper, and sheepishly added that she may have given her some of the frosting. It is a slippery slope and she is sliding down it pretty quickly. So all of you grandparents who have been threatened by her against feeding Jenna, take note.

How to save a life

On Halloween Eve, Jarom and Alixa found themselves watching some TV after laying Jenna down for the night. As they were watching the Lakers play the Mavericks, there was an odd sort of squeaking sound that mixed in with the sound of the basketball players running up and down the court. After muting the TV, they determined that it was an animal sound, and that it seemed to be coming from outside. Ever the paranoid mother, Alixa thought that it was probably a colony of bats that had broken through our bedroom window to roost in our room and eat our daughter. As he is wont to do, Jarom humored her and trundled up the stairs to fight off the echolocating beasts. You may recall that this is not the first time Jarom has been called upon to fight off winged mammals. But alas, he opened the door and found nothing but a happily sleeping baby. He checked the window for any structural weaknesses that could be taken advantage of, and it was then that he saw Caspian sitting in the backyard. Caspian is a white cat that belongs to some neighbors of ours, who happen to be coworkers of Alixa’s at the Olive Garden. Being kindhearted animal lovers, we have offered him wonderful treats of tuna in the past. As the result of what I am about to share with you, Caspian will never get tuna from Lixi again.

Jarom came back downstairs to share his discovery with Alixa. They went out the back door to see what Caspian had managed to catch. The cat was immediately startled by their presence and backed away from his prey, which they saw was a baby squirrel. Caspian is clearly a well-fed cat, because he wasn’t particularly interested in eating the SquirrelBob, but was basically just playing with him and scaring the bejeepers out of the poor little guy. After a cursory examination, Jarom declared that although probably in shock, Bob had not sustained any major injuries and seemed to be functionally fine. However, due to the shock he wasn’t running away, so Jarom proposed that maybe the circle of life should be allowed to run its course. Alixa was vehemently opposed to this, even though it had been less than one hour since she guiltlessly watched a mouse be killed by yours truly. Confronted with this inconsistency, she replied, “I don’t mind the circle of life, I just don’t want to listen to it taking place outside my door.” In her defense she did scold the mouse that I had eaten for not dying quietly enough. I guess she has very sensitive ears.

So she grabbed the mouse box from the pet store, and Jarom did his best Steve Irwin and rescued the little guy. They brought him into the house to take some pictures and make sure that he wasn’t too injured to be released. Jarom, having once had a pet squirrel, considered keeping him for a little while, but an unfortunate incident in the Hegewald household years ago convinced them that it was a bad idea. A gray squirrel had come into their house via the fireplace and left a trail of sooty footprints everywhere and chewed through one of their couches. So they took some pictures of Bob and let him snap out of his Caspian-induced stupor, and then took him back outside and watched him scurry up a tree. Apart from a bloody nose, Bob didn’t seem any worse for the wear and now has a particularly valuable life lesson that will hopefully let him live to be old and gray (badoom-chhh!)

The scene of the crime, with a shellshocked Bob

He was a little reluctant to leave the safety of his box

Lix, happy to have rescued SquirrelBob

Isn't he so cute?