Back above the Mason-Dixon

Big news from the Winn household this week: Jarom got an internship offer from the University of Delaware for the summer and we’ve decided to take it. This means that we will be heading north around the time that school ends for Jarom, in about a month. Alixa is beyond ecstatic because she gets to quit her jobs and spend the summer lying around the house waiting for her water to break. Jarom is not quite sure how to feel. It seems like a good opportunity, and it will be nice to be near family when the little rat arrives, but he will have to live with his parents. Bruce and Nancy have graciously offered to house us for our 3-month stint there, and even though Jarom does love them, moving back in with them wasn’t ever something that he wanted to do. Logistically speaking, it makes sense, and he is sure he will enjoy it, but deep down there is something about it that just feels off. I am simply excited to be moving to my 4th state.

To end the story from the last blog entry, Alixa finally got her new driver’s license. It was another painful trip to the DMV, but she is now allowed to drive and will not have to renew it until 2015 or something ridiculous.

I will end this short little post with a funny incident that happened to Jarom today. He is taking a class on expert performance in sports, and the structure is basically just a group discussion every day. After class today, he was walking and chatting with his professor, who asked him if he was planning on getting a PhD after finishing his master’s. Jarom initially had to suppress a laugh, after which he told him that this would be all as far as the education goes. The professor mentioned that Jarom’s comments in class and papers were very academic and seemed to fit the mold of someone who would be moving on, and that he should at least think about it. When Jarom shared this story with Alixa, she laughed out loud at him for several minutes. I think it is safe to say that two degrees is more than enough for him, but he was very flattered by the compliment.

This picture doesn't have anything to do with the Winns, but I think it's cool. It is a friend of ours from Utah, who ran into some bleachers at preschool and gashed himself up pretty bad. He's a tough little kid though.

Best of Times, Worst of Times

It seems as though the car has dominated much of our life her in Tennessee lately. A replaced headlight was followed by the trip to South Carolina, where Lix tried to permanently ruin the Camry, after which came some car washing and an oil change. Lix had been increasingly concerned about the vibrations that were present whenever she would slow down, particularly from highway speeds, so Jarom took it in to get checked out. It seems the front brake rotors were old and needed to be replaced, at the cost of a few hundred bucks. Although Jarom has been conservatively described as “the cheapest person ever to walk to face of the earth”, he can accept relatively small expenditures like this because the car has been so good to him over the years. After getting the brakes fixed, it was on to new car insurance, and the discovery of Alixa’s expired license. That saga continued this week. On Wednesday Lix got up and went to the DMV early in the morning, hoping to have a new license and be out of there in time for work at 8. She arrived at around 7, only to find an empty building and a sign that reminded patrons that they do not open until 8 on the second Wednesday of every month. Thrilled with this stroke of good fortune, she left to get herself a chicken biscuit from Chick-Fil-A, the worlds best breakfast sandwich. She came back and had to wait outside her car in the cold (it snowed on Monday and was still quite chilly Wednesday morning) in order to keep her spot at the front of the line. She was third outside, but was passed by three rude people between the front door and the counter inside. Finally, it was her turn. She presented the required documents and explained the situation. The man behind the counter glanced at the assorted pieces of mail that she had with her and informed her that they were not acceptable. He handed her a list of approved items, only to have it snatched out of his hands as Alixa stormed angrily out of the office, not even bothering to listen to the rest of his explanation. Through streaming tears of intense rage, a call was placed to Jarom for emotional support (rarely, if ever, a good idea). Needless to say, it was a rough morning for Alixa, who will now have to visit the DMV for a third and hopefully final time this coming week. The moral of the story: always renew your license before it expires.



But it hasn’t been all bad news recently. We successfully used Craig’s List to sell some unwanted furniture to clear some room for new baby stuff. Alixa had a doctor visit, found out that everything continues to go well and that she has only gained 1 pound in the last two weeks. She also put in her official two weeks notice at the Olive Garden, since she now has great difficulty getting through a shift without her feet, hips, and back all killing her. She went golfing with Jarom on Saturday, and has become a pretty good caddy/cheerleader/heckler, depending on what the situation calls for. He even let her drive the cart, despite written warnings that you must have a valid driver’s license to do so. The weather was a little chilly, but they both had a great time just being outside for a few hours enjoying each other’s company.

The best part of the week came in the form of a phone call from Bruce on Friday. For those who don’t know, Bruce stumbled upon a wonderful job at CSC 20 years ago, and as a reward for that lengthy service he gets to choose a gift from a long list of options. After reviewing the list, he found nothing that he wanted or needed. Being the magnanimous overlord that he is, he offered the gift to his children. Each child had to write a letter explaining why Bruce is the best father/father-in-law ever, and would then be entered into a drawing. The winner could choose whatever prize they wanted. So from 14 entries, Alixa was chosen. She could not possibly have been more excited. We believe that this is the first time she has ever won anything, and it is certainly not for lack of effort. She enters every online prize drawing possible, constantly calls into radio shows trying to win tickets and things, and until now had nothing to show for it except myriad disappointing memories. But soon, she will have a new Hoover Anniversary Edition Bagless Upright Vacuum as a symbol of her good luck. Jarom is also excited about it, because he is the one who actually does the vacuuming around the house.



I want to send a quick closing shout-out to Angel Cabrera for winning the Master’s in a three-person, two-hole playoff. Alixa thinks they shouldn’t let Mexicans play on the PGA tour, but I think it’s great.

Geckos, Tigers, and Ducks, Oh My!

This week at the Winn house began by watching some sports on Sunday afternoon. Both Jarom and Lixi saw their carefully selected brackets continue to deteriorate, but mostly enjoyed watching Tiger Woods successfully come from 5 shots back to win the Arnold Palmer Invitational. Some of you may snicker to yourself and bemoan poor Alixa, who is forced to watch golf on TV because of her sports crazy boyfriend. But you would be wrong. For it is Lix who loves to watch golf on TV, especially if Tiger is playing. I’m not really sure how this started, but it is an amusing development. At any rate, it was gripping entertainment, and Tiger capped off his day by sinking a 12-foot birdie putt on the final hole to win.



Inspired by His Tigerness, Jarom took Alixa to work Monday morning and went to play 18 holes. It was a beautiful day and he shot a personal best, including his first career eagle. It came on the 295-yard 8th hole. After a good tee shot he was left with about 80 yards or so straight uphill. He hit a good sand wedge and then walked up the hill ready to putt. After several minutes looking around for his ball, it finally crossed his mind that it may have gone in the cup, which it had. It was quite a thrill, although he does feel cheated ever so slightly because he didn’t get to see the ball go in the hole. I guess he will just try to do it again.

The other major event of the week was the transfer of car insurance. Since their marriage, the Winns have had the good fortune of receiving super cheap insurance from Alixa’s dad (via his job). Recently, Mars selfishly left his job, forcing Jarom to shop around to see who can actually save him $437 per year*. The answer is nobody, but GEICO was the cheapest. After applying for a quote, Jarom got an email from the gecko telling him that Alixa had a speeding ticket that would slightly raise their rate. He is beginning to see why his parents hated him as a teenager. He then got a second email telling him that Alixa’s license was expired and that she needed to get that taken care of. So Wednesday morning Jarom and Lix left the house at 6:45 so they could get a new license before work. Unfortunately, Alixa did not have all of the necessary documentation and was told that she would have to come back later. As she is now prone to do, she started to cry. She managed to keep it in until we were out of the DMV, but it was a good thing that none of her coworkers would see her for at least 40 minutes. One thing is for sure, living with a pregnant lady is never dull.

After work the same day, the two of them went to a friend’s house to pick up yet more free stuff. This time it was a changing table, a crib, and some clothes. All were high quality and were in near-mint condition. They continue to be amazed by the kindness and generosity of all of their friends. Later that evening, Alixa had an interesting experience which she wanted to share with you all in her own words. So without further ado, Alixa…



The Duck, Duck, Goose consignment event happens twice a year. About 1,000 vendors come together to sell all of their slightly used infant, baby, and mom paraphernalia to the general public in one location. This year’s event was held in an empty warehouse near our apartment. A friend told me about it, and said it is the most awesome thing ever because you can get almost brand new stuff for super cheap. This excited me since I will be having a baby soon and need all sorts of things for her arrival in June. I found out they have a “first time mom’s club” that allowed me to shop before it opened to the general public. Each mom was allowed one guest – either a first time dad or grandma. Since my husband hates shopping and large crowds and I can’t seem to get either of my child’s grandmothers to come visit me, I ended up going by myself.

I arrived as the doors were opening at 7 pm and to my shock I couldn’t find a parking spot anywhere. I thought that something else must have been going on. All these people can’t possibly be here for pre-sale event. Boy was I wrong. I finally found a parking spot across a busy, four-lane road and waddled my pregnant self over to the sale. There I found a line that extended all the way around the shopping center, into the road, and continued to the next shopping center over. Against my better judgment, I stepped in line and waited to get into the store. I noticed that those around me had bags and laundry baskets and were ready to find awesome deals. They had obviously done this before. First time moms, my eye.

A pre lesbian era Lindsay Lohan and her crew perform "Santa, Baby"

Once I finally got into the store, I was completely overwhelmed. Hundreds of women were jamming into clothing racks and running to the strollers and cribs. Imagine the scene in Mean Girls where the girls are fighting about the burn book, but put a cute frilly pink dress in between the fighting parties. I could not believe it. I thought it would just be a few first timers, but there was not even room to move. I walked around the different departments for few minutes, but I couldn’t bring myself to fight the crowds. On my way out, I saw another huge line forming. I asked a girl what was going on, and was told that it was the checkout line. A friend of mine, who stuck it out and got a few things, later said that it took her two hours to get out of the store. NOT WORTH IT! So after being in the store for all of five minutes, I left. I decided that the free crib and changing table we got from a lady in our ward and all the super cute clothes my mother-in-law keeps sending me will hold me over for now.

I learned something about myself that will probably make my mom very sad. I am NOT a bargain shopper. I did not inherit the bargain gene from my mother. She would have had a heyday elbowing her way into the clothing racks to find a discounted gem. To me, it just isn’t worth it. Used clothes feel dirty to me and I would rather go to a place where the items are new and clean and there aren’t hundreds of crazed shoppers looking for that awesome deal. Sorry to let you down mom. Maybe when we have our baby and are even more strapped for cash, I will bring myself to bargain hunt, but until then, I think I will just shop at the mall.

the strAIGht dope

This week I am going to bookend my entry with a couple of videos. The first is something that I saw on The Colbert Report, one of my favorite shows and primary sources of political news. Colbert challenged the Republican answer to Barack Obama, RNC Chairman Michael Steele, to a rap-off. Since Steele is a class act, he did not come onto the show to battle with Stephen. So, in typical Daily Show/Colbert Report fashion, they cut a bunch of television appearances to create their own. I found it to be both hilarious and impressive.



The big news of the past few weeks has been the incomparable incompetence and appalling arrogance of American International Group. As you should all know, AIG received a hefty chunk of bailout money, something in the neighborhood of $175 billion. When I first began hearing about the proposed bailouts during the summer of ’08, it seemed like a pretty bad idea. I had Jarom ask some smart people whose opinions I respect (Mars and Bruce) whether it was a good idea or not. The consensus was that it isn’t good, but it is probably needed to avoid a catastrophic collapse of the economy. Obviously I can’t say what would have happened without the bailout, but the further we go along, the more I think it shouldn’t have happened. One of the biggest complaints that I have about it is that the government is giving out tons of money without any control as to what is done with it. And then the government gets mad when things aren’t done the way they want them to be done. And then they overreact and go crazy. Case in point: AIG executives are due to receive about $165 million in bonus money. This makes people mad, because in general people don’t like other people to make more money than they do. Unfortunately, these are contracts and the legal ramifications for not paying the money are significant. So Congress channels their inner 2-year old and decides to levy a 90% tax on those individuals. I am pretty sure that it won’t fly and in a few weeks some athlete will test positive for steroids and divert our representatives attention once again, but the logic behind it irritates me. If Congress didn’t like the way they ran their business, don’t loan them more money!! If AIG wants to pay huge bonuses, let them. The business will either succeed or fail, and capitalism will have worked its magic once again. But I hate the fact that our idiot congresspeople are now sticking their noses into all sorts of business.

Jarom got an email from his EQP today asking him if he would teach the quorum this Sunday. This is the second time he has had to teach in the last few months. Teaching the class was not listed as part of his job description but has been an unfortunate byproduct of being the quorum secretary. It isn’t nearly as bad as speaking in sacrament meeting, which Alixa inexplicably threatened to volunteer for last week. Only the threat of bodily injury kept her from seeking out the bishop and offering the Winn’s services. Since he was given no topic for the lesson, Jarom chose The Challenge to Become, a talk by Elder Holland that is among his favorites. He recommends it to all of you. [I don’t know if I have any non-LDS readers, but if I do, feel free to ask Jarom what on earth this paragraph is talking about.]

The NCAA tournament is now at the Elite Eight level, and we have a new leader(s): Dave Tilton and Cameo Bell. Congrats to them, and best of luck down the stretch.

The second video for this entry is a little embarrassing to me. I just shed last weekend, and have been feeling a little rotund, so I’ve put myself on a slight diet. Since I was feeling a little self-conscious, I chose not to share this information with Jarom. As a result, he got me a mouse that I really didn’t want to eat. The ensuing video is the result. I present it as exhibit A of why I will not be a threat to baby Jenna. I hope you enjoy it.

Sometimes, you just want a buddy

Twitterpated

Many years ago, people were only aware of the population with which they came into direct contact. If a family member or friend moved away, you only found out what they were up to if you ran into them at a later date. Communications has come a long way since then, moving from the pony express and telegrams to more modern telephones, text messaging, and email. In the last few years, social networking sites such as myspace and facebook have taken “keeping in touch” to a whole new level. It is now possible to stay on top of the lives of hundreds of people whom you have no interest in hearing about. In fact, it is now difficult to separate the information that you are actually interested in from the garbage from some guy that you barely knew in high school. And yet, modern society’s attention deficit disorder continues to accelerate. Those familiar to facebook know about status updates, where you can essentially tell your facebook friends what you are doing right now. There is now a new web service called twitter, which allows users to enter small (140 characters or less) blurbs about their daily lives. Many of those who use the service twit dozens of times each day, providing incredible amounts of useless info to people who have nothing better to do.



Jarom had heard about twitter, but ignored it, much as he did facebook, studying, and doing household chores, until he realized that all of these things could be good if done in moderation. Last week he read a news story about Charlie Villanueva of the Toronto Raptors. Apparently he snuck away from the team to grab his cell phone and twit during halftime of a game against the Celtics. Here’s the twit - "In da locker room, snuck to post my twitt. We're playing the Celtics, tie ball game at da half. Coach wants more toughness. I gotta step up." While Villanueva’s grammar and judgment can be questioned by his message and the fact that he did it at halftime of an NBA game, it did garner Jarom’s attention, and he decided to go ahead and create an account. Now he can be alerted if Shaq goes to the bathroom, or if Mark Cuban needs a new pair of pants. It should be a great addition to his life.

Happy St. Patrick's Day. Like those people need another reason to drink.

Another great addition to the Winn’s life this week was a new office chair for the computer. Since their marriage, we have simply been using one of the chairs from the kitchen table. These are not very comfortable and look a little silly. So for St. Patrick’s Day Alixa got to pick out a new, comfortable, swivel chair that can rock back and forth. It has been great. Jarom has been able to use it to check the status of his NCAA tournament bracket, which has done poorly, as it does every year. Skiffington is currently leading this blog’s pool, with 510 points. Nancy is bringing up the rear with 110. It seems she did not quite grasp the meaning of the seeds, and as a result haphazardly selected winners with no apparent logic at all. She now has exactly zero teams still alive on her bracket. But I admire her for trying. In fact, that she was able to create an ESPN username and successfully enter herself into the competition is a remarkable achievement, and one that should be applauded. So I applaud you, Nancy.



Also, Annie came up with a name for my game that I like better than the last one. It will now be known as “Are You Smarter Than A Ball Python”, and the winner will be listed after each post.